23 Things I Learned Being 23

As I prepare to turn 24 this weekend, I have plenty to reflect on regarding this past year. A lot happened for me: I graduated from college, moved out on my own for the first time, and made groundbreaking discoveries about who I am as a person. It has without a doubt been the best and worst year of my life: hallmarked by ecstatically high highs and devastatingly low lows. So, allow me to share my little eggs of knowledge that my developing brain took from this past year of nonsense.

1. Nobody likes you.

Although the boys of Blink-182 did warn me about this one, I was in no way prepared for life to beat the shit out of me the way it did. In addition to my social circle shrinking significantly, practically every cool opportunity I was presented with ended in rejection, making it seem like, well, nobody liked me. They won't teach you this in schools, but being a 23 year old girl is harder than being in literally any branch of the military. If you're 23 right now, keep fighting soldier; you got this.

2. Exercise is important, like seriously.

As someone who grew up in the eating-disorder-chic era of the 2000s and was worried about losing weight before I even reached double digits, I've been turned off from basically all health/fitness movements. But by removing myself from the idea that working out is about seeing physical results, exercising regularly has actually been life-changing. Starting the day with a workout completely changes the trajectory of my day and just makes me feel so much better about everything. Those endorphins are magic, baby!

3. We need more opportunities for community.

I've always loved school--all the way from preschool to college. Not only do I love to learn and believe that knowledge truly is power, but I also always just loved having my own little tight-knit community. I think one of the main reasons "the college experience" is so romanticized in America is because it's the only real time we get to experience the magic and wonder of walkable communities and club/group/community building. Now that I'm no longer a student, I feel like a big part of what has always kept my spark alive is missing. If we could implement better public transportation, more pedestrian-friendly lifestyles, and introduce some groovy third places into our cities, who knows what kind of beautiful group love and friendships could blossom.

4. Sometimes the simplest pleasures are the most magical.

With all of this new excess time on my hands that I have now that I'm no longer drowning in schoolwork, I've begun picking up some crafts as a way to keep myself busy. I am especially fond of crocheting and have found myself giddy with excitement to go home and get back to my crochet--almost like I'm a kid who got a new video game for their birthday and can't get the school day to wrap up fast enough. It's fun, easy, relaxing, and has just brought me a lot of joy. You don't need to hop on a private jet to Dubai to have the time of your life!

5. Everything is temporary.

While sort of obvious, remembering this sentiment has been incredibly helpful for me. It's reassuring in times when nothing seems to be going my way to know that these feelings will pass, and it makes the good moments even more special. No matter what is going on, I choose to savor it; I know my nostalgic ass will find a way to romanticize it eventually.

6. Being alive is way too expensive.

Despite being keenly aware of capitalism's shortcomings for quite some time now, having to pay for rent and being fully responsible for feeding myself and keeping myself alive has shown me that this whole "living" thing is way more hardcore than I thought.

7. You are not in control and you never will be.

As an anxiety-haver™, trying to maintain control over stressful situations and always being solution-oriented have been my default operating mode for as long as I can remember. Letting go and just letting the universe do its thing can be scary; but once you finally do it, you realize that you never had control in the first place, you just had anxiety. I used to seriously think of worrying as a sort of mental preparation for the uncertainties in my life, but that just isn't true. Worrying solves nothing.

8. I am capable of making myself a healthy dinner.

This is huge for me! I have spent my whole life feeling somewhat scared/overwhelmed at the thought of cooking. Prior to this past year I had virtually no knowledge on the subject and my go-to dishes were either a bowl of cereal or a PB&J. But thanks to FaceTime call cooking lessons with my sweet older sister who lives in Colorado (and the necessity of nourishing my body with nutrients), I've really outdone myself! Together, we've made spring rolls, baked ziti, eggplant parmesan, tofu bowls, tacos, and more. Not bad for a girl who barely learned how to turn on the stove.

9. Life's too short to wait for other people.

With all of this time I've been spending in solitude, it would be easy to wallow and spend my days rotting away in my room while I wait to enter a chapter of my life that's a bit more social. But, life is now! This year I started going to coffee shops by myself, taking myself on little dates downtown, attending concerts alone, and even diving headfirst into a local improv group where I knew literally no one. If there are things you've been wanting to do but don't have anyone to do them with, just go for it. Yeah it's scary, but letting life pass you by is even scarier.

10. I look reeeaaaallly good as sexy Ronald McDonald.

I don't think I need to explain this one. Refer to my instagram if you're confused.

11. I'm never going to have all the answers.

This one was really tough for me. As I've expressed earlier, knowledge is power and one of my greatest driving forces to keep moving forward in life is that there is so much out there to learn and uncover. But I'm never going to have it all figured out; I'm always going to be at least a little bit lost, and that's okay.

12. I genuinely am just a kid.

I love responding to people by saying, "I don't know, I'm just a kid." It ends the conversation and usually makes the other person laugh a little because legally speaking, I am very much an adult. But with this being my first time out of school and living on my own, it has been made abundantly clear that I am a baby of an adult. Yes, I've been on this earth for 24 years, but I've only been out of the nest for about six months! I'm just a little baby at the end of the day.

13. I am not actually a "friend to all".

While I still seriously believe that kindness and friendliness can save the world, becoming better acquainted with who I am at a deeper level has shown me that I am not for everyone, and not everyone is for me. My recent inclination to be incredibly selective about who I surround myself with has resulted in much more alone time on my end, but I think that's okay. It definitely hasn't been easy considering what an extrovert I am, but I'm just trying to trust that it's all part of the growth process. I'd rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies, ya know?

14. I can take care of living thing.

I became a plant mother this year and I am happy to report that my baby is still alive. It is a pothos plant, which upon googling it the first article that popped up was titled, "Pothos Are So Easy To Care For It's Stupid", but I am proud of myself nonetheless. Being able to take care of myself and something else is quite the accomplishment in my book. And who knows, maybe 24 year old me will challenge myself and upgrade to two plants if I'm feeling ambitious.

15. Being an adult is not all it's cracked up to be.

I had this sentiment reiterated to me throughout my entire childhood--it really shouldn't come as a surprise. But I don't know, I've just always felt so independent and have craved this level of freedom, but I wish I would have appreciated being a kid more. Yes, I'm glad to now have what I used to dream about, but gee, this is rough. I'd do anything to go back to the sandbox.

16. There really is nothing better than just meandering around.

Taking a walk and just wandering around aimlessly really is a universal medicine. It rules. Feeling sad? Take a walk. Need to clear your mind? Take a walk. Looking for creative inspiration? Take a walk. It's fun, it's relaxing, it's good for both your body and mind, and sometimes it's just necessary to take some time to breathe in the world around you. It's literally my favorite hobby; I'd be a professional meanderer if I could.

17. The best thing you can do for yourself is learn to be self-sufficient.

I always used to feel insecure about never having been in an official romantic relationship before, especially in my twenties as I've watched my peers do things beyond my comprehension like get married and whatnot. But I don't feel that way anymore--I'm grateful instead. I've navigated life, achieved incredible things, loved with all my heart, and already had a lifetime's worth of fun and fulfilling experiences, all while never having a partner. With all of this under my belt, I feel remarkably self-sufficient. But still, it's a muscle we should always be working on. Even in platonic relationships, people will leave you when you least expect it. Love fully, but stay independent.

18. Pets are everything.

While I've always loved and cherished the three dogs we have at my mom's house, I had no idea how essential those little guys are to my wellbeing. I visit often obviously because I love and miss my mom and my siblings, but there's something about having a little furry friend to squeeze that honestly makes me remember why life is worth living. I unfortunately can't have any pets in my current living situation (and taking care of a plant has been a milestone in itself), but hopefully I'll feel responsible enough to have a cat in my next home.

19. Embarrassment isn't real; nothing is ever that serious.

It's only embarrassing if you're embarrassed. If there was ever a valid excuse not to live authentically, embarrassment definitely isn't it. Why do you care more about what other people think than what you think? Just be yourself and do what you want--it really is that simple.

20. Go easy on yourself.

It really is rough out here. Having a certain level of discipline and holding yourself accountable for keeping up habits that are good for you is crucial. But generally speaking, just give yourself grace whenever you can. You are trying your best and that is enough. You're doing better than you think.

21. Say "yes" to life as often as possible.

If an opportunity presents itself, take it for goodness sake! You are a greater being with every experience you gain, even if it feels like a waste of time or wasn't enjoyable. Every time we do something, we learn something. Keep going.

22. I need my mom.

I've been a mama's girl for as long as I can remember, but not living under the same roof as my sweet, precious mother has only made it clearer how important she is to me. I still have to call her at least once a day, and I'm so grateful that I have someone who is always willing to hear me out like that. No matter where life takes me, I'll always need that crazy lady.

23. Despite all its suffering, being alive is a gift.

While this sentiment isn't necessarily unique to my experience as a 23 year old, I felt the weight of it especially this past year because, well, there was a lot of suffering. But even with all of the pain and anguish I went through, the sun still shines, and sometimes that's all you need.